This is the first book that I wrote as I kid, and one of the only ones I've written to completion (even if it's only a few short chapters long, and even if it plagiarizes characters off the Percy Jackson series).
Kaptain Ketchup
Author: Ryan C. Johnson, Age 11
Illustrator: Katie Johnson, Age 9
Colored by: Ryan C. J.
Editor: Chris Johnson
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 - Meet Kaptain Ketchup - pg. 1
Chapter 2 - Call for Duty - pg. 1
Chapter 3 - Too Quiet - pg. 2
Chapter 4 - News - pg. 2
Chapter 5 - The Big House - pg. 2
Chapter 6 - The Big Battle - pg. 3
Chapter 7 - The Double Party - pg. 3
Chapter 1
Meet Kaptain Ketchup
Once there was a superhero named Kaptain Ketchup. He lived in Georgia. His favorite food was hot dogs. His favorite color (as you might have guessed) was Red. He was 18 years old.
Chapter 2
Call for Duty
One day, Kaptain Ketchup was reading his favorite book, Ketchupology, until the phone rang. And fast as ketchup could squirt, he had picked up the telephone. “Hello, who is this?” “This is Mary Walton and a bad guy is trying to push my husband off a cliff!” a scared voice said quickly. “I’ll be right there.” said Kaptain Ketchup as he was putting on his cape. He rushed outside, went to the bottom of the cliff, and placed a ketchup bomb under himself. The ketchup bomb exploded and sent Kaptain Ketchup flying just when the bad guy pushed Mary’s husband off. Kaptain Ketchup caught him, landed on the top of the cliff, and took out his Ketchup Shooter 2000. Booom!! The bad guy was covered head to toe in Ketchup. His eyes were covered so he could not see. He could not see so he walked off the cliff by accident. They all went happily back to their houses.
This kind of stuff happened a lot in Georgia, so Kaptain Ketchup saved lots of people. There were smaller problems, too. Let me tell you one of them.
Once Kaptain Ketchup was listening to his favorite song, Oh, Ketchup, when the phone rang. And fast as ketchup could squirt, he had picked up the phone. “My new dogs I just bought are chasing me trying to bite me.” said a high voice. “I’ll be right there.” Kaptain Ketchup said as he got there. He took out his ketchup bottle, and squirted it on the grass. The dogs saw it and “Lick, lick” licked it all up. “From now on, feed them ketchup.” said Kaptain Ketchup, “What’s your name?” “My name is Emily.” said the girl. They both went home.
At his house, Kaptain Ketchup thought, “I work too much. I wish I could have a break.”
Chapter 3
Too Quiet
One night Kaptain Ketchup said to himself “I’m so lucky. No work today cause no one needed help.” But the next day no one needed help. Same with the next day. Kaptain Ketchup was worried. “Something is wrong.” Kaptain Ketchup said to himself. He went outside and knocked on his neighbor’s door. No one was there. Neither was anyone else in the state. He started looking for anyone until he stepped in a ditch. But it was not a ditch. It looked like an O. “What could this mean?” Kaptain Ketchup thought. That’s when he saw a G before it. Then he saw a whole sentence on the ground. It said “GO TO THE POLICE OFFICE.” He went to the police office. On the desk, there was a news article.
Chapter 4
News
On the newspaper, it said, “New Badguy Seen. This bad guy has taken lots of people from Georgia. She is now in Florida.” Kaptain Ketchup stopped reading. He ran back to his house, got supplies, and left. Even though he was in his fast car, it took 5 hours to get there. Once he got there he looked around. Then he saw a big house that looked like it was just built. He walked in.
Chapter 5
The Big House
In the big house, there was a desk. At the desk was a robot. When the robot saw Kaptain Ketchup he said “Intruder Alert” in a weird voice. “Intruder Alert. Intruder Alert.” louder and louder “INTRUDER ALERT.” Suddenly, he was surrounded by robots. He placed 5 super ketchup bombs around him. BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All of them blasted apart. Suddenly, 3 more robots came. They were big and looked like they had gigantic muscles.
Sorry, your parents might think this part is too violent for you. Soo, to make a long story short, Kaptain Ketchup defeated the robots with speed, strength, and (of course) ketchup. He went up the stairs and saw a door that said “Prisoners”. He opened the door and saw lots of people caged up. He saw Emily, Mary, Mary’s husband, Emily’s dogs, and lots of other people. He even saw the guardian of Florida, Mister Math.
He looked around. He could not find any keys. He looked everywhere in the building. He looked in the boy’s bathroom. He looked in the closets. He looked in the robot’s bedrooms. After he defeated the robots in there, he looked on the ceilings. He even looked in the girl’s bathroom (where he found a bunch of girl robots), and last, he looked on the desk and found the keys and freed everyone.
Suddenly, the bad guy who had caged everyone up came. Kaptain Ketchup and Mister Math were ready to fight!
Chapter 6
The Big Battle
Now, before the battle starts, I should tell you who this bad guy is. Her name is Clarisse. The War demi-goddess. The moment they saw her they could tell she was super strong.
And I want you to learn some stuff about Mr. Math. Mr. Math lives in Florida. His favorite number was 25. His favorite color was white. He was 21 years old.
Let the battle begin!
“We meet again, Clarisse.” said Mr. Math. “I will defeat you.” said Clarisse. Clarisse threw her spear. Kaptain Ketchup ducked. The spear reappeared in Clarisse’s hand. Mr. Math took out a potion, said “2 x 2 = 4” and poured the potion on the ground. 2 spears appeared, then 2 more. Mr. Math threw one of them at Clarisse. She dodged it. She threw her own spear and hit Mr. Math hard. Kaptain Ketchup picked up her spear. He threw Clarisse’s spear and one of Mr. Math’s spears at the same time. It struck her hard in the chest. Mr. Math was conscious again and he punched Clarise with Kaptain Ketchup. She and Mr. Math were bloodied up. Clarisse came to again and punched Kaptain Ketchup. Clarisse’s spear appeared back in her hand. She threw it and it hit Kaptain Ketchup super hard. Mr. Math threw one more spear at her. It hit her on the leg. Then she ran away.
Chapter 7
The Double Party
Everyone cheered at their triumph.
Disclaimers:
I wrote this book when I was almost 12, so yup.
I’m afraid I only wrote the first sentence of the final chapter, but I’m sure you can imagine that “They all went happily back to their houses.” and I’m not even sure why it was a “Double Party.” Maybe the two states celebrated together and that is why.
Also, yes, the “bad guy” Clarisse is from the Percy Jackson series and I don’t know why I didn’t come up with an original villain, but hey, it works. Maybe a good villain would have been some sort of Peanut Butter Warlord, or something else that doesn’t go with ketchup.
Ranger Relish and Mr. Mustard don’t appear in this book due to the North American Superhero Agreement of 2006. In an effort to give all the people of North America fair representation of superheroes, this agreement ensured that Mr. Mustard would continue to work as a superhero in Canada, Kaptain Ketchup in the US, and Ranger Relish in Mexico (who had previously been working as a hero in New Mexico and Arizona of the US). It also ensured that at least one hero would serve in each country for the rest of time. This agreement had further political implications and reasoning, and ensured that Mexico would always be an ally to the US in the future.
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